New patterns for living
December 9, 2007 | Uncategorized
Finally figured out what to get for Christmas–a life of my own. All these years I thought I was maintaining an individual identity. Yeah sure, I was a wife, a mother, a friend, a sister, a daughter, and an employee but I was still me too. Then my husband’s health took an ultimately fatal turn, changing everything.
Some of those changes were abrupt. In the span of a few weeks I quit working outside the home. Over months and years as his health declined, the time I spend focused on his needs expanded until that was all that existed–except for the barest minimum spent on keeping myself and the animals alive. All that lovely advice, well-meant, and no doubt sensible, about taking care of the caretaker was ignored.
I credit writing with maintaining my sanity. However, writing alone didn’t fill up the well–in order to write I needed a real life that worked.
Figuring out what needed done to the house was a snap compared to finding even a clue about how to nurture myself. Warning: commercial endorsement ahead. A friend’s post about something unrelated mentioned a website she’d found helpful. www.flylady.com FLY stands for Finally Loving Yourself. What a concept!
Their advice is primarily aimed at stay-at-home mothers, but it can be adapted to anyone’s circumstances. The important parts of the program are universal.
I’m through with editing and polishing and revisions and am indulging myself in an unplanned story for the next few weeks as I learn to enjoy the adventure of living solo, un ongoing process that will take me the rest of my life.
I hope this holiday season brings joy and magic to your heart.
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December 9th, 2007 at 8:44 pm
Flylady is a great site! Though I finally had to stop cos the bombardment of emails slowly started to drive me insane. But I still take some of their advice to heart.
Take care of you Evanne, no one deserves it more than you do! I hope you have a lovely holiday season as well. :)
December 10th, 2007 at 12:29 am
LOL about the emails–I think you can turn those off. I have for other really active yahoo groups.
There’s lots of wisdom that spoke to me at the moment. Baby stepping my way into a whole new life.
It has occurred to me that no one sane would choose to change two thirds of their life at once, but life sometimes hands us insane challenges.
Have a wonderful Christmas!